Ring, Ring! Ring
Counselor: Suicide Hotline. How can I help you?
Caller: Yes I need to speak to someone about my suicidual thoughts.
Counselor: What is your first name sir?
Caller: Just call me uh John Doe.
Counselor: what seems to be the problem John?
Caller: I have been in bed for almost two weeks. I can't eat, sleep, or function. I have people calling my house all day talking about a public hanging. I'm afraid. They say I had all kinds of talent and let it slip away. Keep using words like "too many athletes". Never heard that saying being mountain folk.
Counselor: Now John, people don't do public hangings anymore. No need for that fear. By the way, where are you calling from?
Caller: Burke County, North Carolina
Counselor: John forget what I just said about public hangings. Don't leave the house for a couple weeks.
Caller: You have very strong accent. You ain't from around here are you?
Counselor: No sir. We are located in Pakistan.
Caller: So what do you suggest I do? I'm mentally distraught.
Counselor: John we are sending you a package with a medical device to help. Upon arrival put the device on. It is a special vest. It will have a button to push when you have anxiety. No need to push it but once. It should be done in a public place.
Caller: Thank you sir. I will look for the package.
Counselor: Good day sir and may you have 72 virgins one day.
CLICK.