So I have been on this website since 2001. I have been coaching football since 1995. I have had a close friend that just had his father pass and it made me realize that this football thing is not that important. Friends and family are. Often we all get caught up in the next job , the next season, who will be our starting QB and lose perspective on what is really important. People talk about the kids that you coach and how they will remember you, some of that is true but as soon as you leave a high school it was like you were never there even if you were the head coach for 25 years once you are gone you are gone. So I know that many coaches are on this board, and many on here have probably squandered time and missed time with kids, parents, family and friends. I am still a coach and I still care about the sport I love and the players but I am not squandering time like that anymore. To the young coaches on here take it from a now gray haired older man, enjoy the little things if not you will regret it.
As I get older
- Thread starter sammyk
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Great insight coach. You have to have a balance. Remember coaches will not reach every player, or always be remembered by most. You just have to reach one or a few to truly be successful. Coaches have a great effect on society. Even when you think you don't have an effect you do.
Coached for many years and then felt the same burnout. Wanted to just quit and felt frustrated. Then was at a HS game in the stands and heard someone yelling coach, coach. He ran up to me and said I just saw you and wanted to say thanks. Didn't even recognize the player at first, but once I did I couldn't stop crying. Grown man sitting in the stands amongst other coaches crying because a player I'd coached over 10 years prior and had no contact with made a point to come tell me thanks. He thanked me for the advice and picking him up for practice and helping him become the man he was today. Said he was in the service, and had a fiancé and was doing well.
The burnout, frustration, agitation are part of the process. Then I gave myself a rule. If the event has a long term effect I will now put sports 2nd. IE. Weddings, funerals, special age birthdays, anniversary with wife etc etc. Sports/events with children. They come first and football 2nd. Those missed events cause more heartache and bad feelings because you cant get them back. You are 100% correct enjoy the little things.
Coaches have tremendous influence on players. Hopefully for the better. Coaches have the ability to reinforce good qualities that are taught in the home, also to teach valuable principles that are missed in the home. Many times coaches can become a part of families if they so choose. I am grateful for all the good coaches in the world that help families with their children.
The relationships with other coaches and teachers working for the common goal of improving the future by doing what we do is what I miss. Those kids you coached who are turning 40, and still call me Coach, text me to update me on thier life/family/teammates or ask a question is the best thing I have from my 21 years in HS teaching/coaching. Have many great memories from those years. And did everything I could to make everything as best I could with my family. It's a tough gig to be a HS Coach.
I sure understand what you are saying SammyK. Time goes fast. Young coaches should take heed. Thankfully it is a different situation then when we were younger. Technology has definitely helped this a lot. The days of reel to reel and vhs or cd exchanges are thankfully long gone.
Head coaches make your program accessible and open to families. I've been part of programs where this naturally happened and in programs where this was consciously thought of and you end up with happier coaches, wives and children. Unfortunately, when it does not happen naturally and a program does not work on it, it can be very trying on families and relationships.
Head coaches make your program accessible and open to families. I've been part of programs where this naturally happened and in programs where this was consciously thought of and you end up with happier coaches, wives and children. Unfortunately, when it does not happen naturally and a program does not work on it, it can be very trying on families and relationships.
Same could be said about alot of career chasing, it's not exclusive to the coaching industry. That said, as another grey haired professional staring at the back end of a different career I will tell you this. 40 years later I would rank my HS football coach in the top 5 of the most influential people in my life. My guess is your impact probably exceeds your own evaluation.
In the end it's all you can ask for. Sleep well on that.
Sammy,
We have spoken before. I also happen to be a Pa-->NC transplant. A recent one, however. I moved down here with the intention of getting back into coaching. I had a fairly successful college coaching run, that I gave up to get married. I then started to teach and coach at the HS level. I then gave the coaching piece up, when my daughters came of age and started to become involved in athletics themselves. I didn't want to miss all of their games and activities, and then regret it later. So, I didn't. Not one single game, or match or meet in multiple sports, and maybe a few practices that I can count on one hand. I must admit that there have been times that I have regretted giving it all up, especially recently. I think I have suffered some bc of it, and the rewards I have sometimes lost sight of. For example, I have had some trouble rejoining the coaching ranks since I've been down here. The past month has been particularly frustrating. At any rate, it helped to read your letter. I especially needed the reminder today. The Lord works in mysterious ways.
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yeah...not opposed to moving, but lease not up until august, and the beach here is beautiful!
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