Orange vs Cedar Ridge: ''Battle For Eno Mountain''

[tatermommy]

Some say its about some bell. Others say its about families fightin' over a hog. Both say the hog was the other sides daughters. Cedar Ridgers are mad because the ''Cedar Ridge Special'' menu at the Waffle House is posted over the toilet. Hillburians are mad cause the toilet is inside a building. But its simply ''whose your daddy''. Which is a question that has been debated amongst Orange-a-tonians concerning whose unmarried DNA coursed through others unmarried veins ever since the first two wagons of ancestors parked side by side. Ridgers say Orangers marry their kin so the land stays is the family. Orangers say Ridgers are glad the marriage laws have recently changed. Orangers say everythang and everybody souf of the interstate are crazy and that Ridge qualifies as Chapel Hill ''light''. Ridgers say that Yankees, people from Cary and Orangers all live in the North which is why the museum name was taken off the building on Churton Skreet. Orangers said last year Ridges band played 'Dueling Banjos' as the 'Homecoming' theme song. Ridgers said Oranges have Ag day before homecoming so's they can pick out the 'Queen'. This Friday night is Senior night at Orange High. Ridgers say some of Oranges players qualify for a 'senior' discount by the time they graduate. Orangers say that Ridgers date senior citizens for their discount at the drive through. The real reason is that the winner gets control of the drain pipe from the one seater outhouse atop Eno Mountain. If the Ridgers win their head coach pulls the pipe to the north side thus fertilizing Hillsburry. If'n Oranche wins then 'Motown' takes the pipe and fills more bottles of 'Ridgers BBQ Sauce' that he sends to mini marts in towns his teams have lost to. His 'favorite' referees get a box of ''Uncle Cecils Rasin Cookies'' and a case of 'Eno Mountain Dew'.

 

[Huey Long]

Orange is on a nice run. Number 88 wide receiver Cody Evans had a breakout game and #7 Chris Eubanks showed flashes of the speed and cutting ability Orange needs. QB Jackson Schmid is coming around firing strikes that are now being caught. Austin Sykes continues to lead the offensive line that opens holes for the ever changing group of running backs. Bryse Wilson is a 'back in the day player' that certainly deserves consideration for the AP All State team.

 

[orangecrush52]

Bryse Wilson not making the Shrine Bowl team was political and maybe to some degree personal at a certain level. That is very disturbing when a high school player pays a price that he has not earned. He should be considered for the AP team by whatever category that players are measured.

 

[Huey Long]

The AP team is voted on by newspaper writers.

 

[Huey Long]

Cody Evans could make Orange a real threat. He could finally get defenses out of Oranges face.

 

[orangecrush52]

Austin Sykes blocks like a MMA fighter . Then he jogs over to the bench and flops down like a basket of wet clothes and makes bewildered faces while the coaches draw on the board. He waggles his fingers then shrugs his shoulders and stares up at the lights. He has got it all figured out.

 

[tatermommy]

Ol' Mo's team graduates players that would gut most teams and send em' to the rebuilding stage but he forms em' up like ''Picketts Charge'' and runs em' out there only to have some of the best get carried off. And he gets beat and teams act like they done something and he dosent blink but sends out more and expects their very best and nothing less will do. Yes he kicks dirt and gets red faced and swats at imaginary thangs in the air and he believes in running the ball and running the clock and running other teams into a rock hard defense. His players are not 'recruited' from other teams and the administration dosent make hundreds of students disappear during the ADM count and an entire athletic system is not built around sending players his way.

 

[1052]

Its hard for traditional teams like for Orange to compete with schools that are set up to win by whatever means necessary. That last rung of teams have evolved because of multiple reasons. Having a championship team takes many factors any of which can be a detriment.

 

[tatermommy]

Well Earnie hired ol 'Motownmo' (a-ha-ha)
To have a little football fu-un (a-ha) n' Holsboro
Durin the games he gamble a lot (oh yeah) a-ha-ha
He said 'my boys roll the dice when the dice were hot'

Tha boys there they were in 'Motowns' Jail
We gotta win games to go our bail
So we get away cause the way we pla-a-a-a-ay
We dune broke out, of 'Motowns' Jail

Winnin's real nice, like rakin in dough (long green)
And then we hea-ard the refs whistle blow
'Motowns' face it turnes real blue
'My boys transgress, Señor, it cant be true'

When we watch film, we're back in Jail
Ain't got no frie-ends to go our bail
But next Friday night the way we play
On their heads we'll frail, getn outta 'Motown' Jail (shout)

When we wins some games he sets us free
To get away sometimes we hides behind trees
We know our fans like it much
Winnin games and being ranked an such

So we play real hard to keep outta 'Motown's Jail
Ain't no other way to go our bail
In Hilsboro we'll sta-ay ‘cause we can play
Just send our mai-il to 'Motown's Jail

 

[GSO-Triple5]

Perhaps, Tater Mommy, perhaps the Orangers could give the Ridgers some roses when they ain't got none, or perhaps the Orangers could offer the Ridgers a drank from their personalized and individualized Lovin' Cup, causin' the Ridgers to fall and stumble down Hillsburgatonia Mountain, the Ridgers inebriated as an eleven titted kangaroo..

 

[tatermommy]

Come one, come all and for one thin dime, yes one tenth of a dolla' you can see the 'MoJagger' strut on the sidelines. Complete with rolled out lips and stuck out hips while emitting monosyllable detonations of stratospheric proportions. 'Mo' will be glad to take 'suggestions' fum the crowd whilst the other coaches run the team (nuthin new bout that). I have never seen a coach wander around the sidelines as 'Mo' does. Sometimes he talks to the players and sometimes he talks to folks that walk down from the stands. Sometimes he cons them into bringing him a few hot dogs that he eats 'Babe Ruth' style during the game. Look at last weeks after the game interview and spot the mustard stain on his shirt...

 

[Huey Long]

Mo has always had his base stable of coaches and then there are also a few 'hangers around' that are never too far from him wherever he goes.

 

[Brutus B]

A good leader surrounds himself with other great leaders.
OHS football has that, from the chain gang, athlete directors, guard dogs and coaching staff, the panthers has the best.

 

[tatermommy]

''GodfatherMo'' and the Orange High Corleones set in the field house eating sub sandwiches fum Vinnny's in Hillsborough when ''Mo'' says, 'Bring in Johnny Fontane-Valines so he can sing ballads to us'. 'Sonny' Mullis said, ''Movito'' Johnny smells like he's been sleeping with the fishes'. 'Movito' says, 'Then bring me 'Michael Van Corleone' so that I can see my legacy. 'Sonny' says he's in Efland hiding from the cops. 'Movito' says well then somebody get 'Luca McCauley' so he can straighten out my family. 'Sonny' says 'Luca' is talking to Bruce Jenner about 'some feelings he's always had'. 'Movito' calls for 'Fredo' Callahan because he's 'smat not dumb, he's smat and he needs respect'. Then in walks 'Earnie Hagen' and says to 'Movito', 'Why dont you come outside to the Ag Barn so some kid can squirt ya' in the face with bug juice so ya' can flop down like a dead hog laying in the sun. 'Movito' contemplated his plight. He looked at his team. They looked at his family. They dropped their Cannoli and took the field in the 'Battle for Eno Mountain. 'Movito' wished he was in a Mel Brooks movie instead of being with this bunch of Democrats. As the credits start to roll there is 'MovitoMo' silhouetted against the stadium lights. Heading towards his sidelines. No socks, big shorts, boggin on his head and mooched hotdog in his hand.

 

[orangecrush52]

Austin Sykes has developed into one of the best offensive linemen in the region. Wherever he is Orange runs. Cody Evans is making great strides on offense as a wide out. The team is a little beat up but a healthy Orange could be interesting come playoff time.

 

[GSO-Triple5]

Prior to mooching the currency to purchase the hot dog and hot cocoa from the volunteers at the well lighted concession stand , Tater Mommy, did Mister Movito Mo ask to borrow a dime from one of the unsuspecting patrons standing impatiently in the Concession Stand's twisting and turning lines ?

 

[tatermommy]

A name like Boz Scaggs pure Zen. Like if Cialis works then shouldn't those two folks be in the same bath tub.

 

[1052]

Can Orange continue to replace injured players and still win. Well they are.

 

[tatermommy]

Before the big game sits the Orange High Panther football squad. Wondering just what type of Knute Rockne speech will 'Motown' bestow upon them. Just what type of Homeric prose will compel them to ''stand up, buckle up, shuffle towards the door'' and fling themselves Airborne style onto the gridiron. Then they hear a mule. And around the corner wearing a 'Lone Ranger' mask recently purchased fum WalMart rides 'HiYoMo' on a borrowed mule named 'Hillary'. He rode upon his chargers and said, 'Foller me' and spun around and headed towards the field. Being tossed three hot dogs with mustard as he passed the concession stand. In the end zone he flung the greasy wrappers in the direction of the other teams bench (Trying to copy Florida States Osceola riding his horse Renegade) And whirled about thus facing his team and Bryse Wilson hollerd, 'Run fer your lives he's gonna hurl!. The Panthers implimented 'scatter plan Baker' a move which the seniors pass on to the underclassmen. The panther picture taker snapped a gallery of images of the team storming the field as 'Hillary' bucked 'Mo' through the goal posts trailing hot dog vomit like rocket exhaust. 'Mo' recoveres and runs to the sidelines resembling 'John Belushi' in 'Animal House' and grabbs the play card and starts calling plays when he is told, 'we're on defense coach'. He then gathered himself and jumped on the training table and said to the loyal fans, 'I want ya' to get up out of yer seats and yell as loud as ya can I am as mad as H--L and I am not gonna take this anymore!'. Somebody tolt him he was infront of a kindergarden class he had invited. Unfazed he jogged back to the sidelines and pulled the play card from his pocket and hollered, 'loaf of bread, peanut butter, bologna, can o' cheese!' Meanwhile AD Earnie looks over the stuffed stands and thinks of all the other non-revenue generating sports that are being funded.

 

[tatermommy]

'Motown' contacted by South Carolina Gamecocks for an interview. Imagine the blog possibilities.

 

[Huey Long]

That's one way to live in a state that wins the Shrine Bowl.

 

[tatermommy]

One time in a land far away 'Mo' set in the office after a game with his base stable of coaches when a man came in and said, 'Coach theys a mob out there thats a' coming in here to beat the hair off yalls' head'. Mo looked at his coaches and said, 'I don't know whether to stay here and fight or go outside and lead the mob'.

 

[tatermommy]

One time a man walked into 'Mo's office and wanted to talk about his sons lack of playing time. 'Mo' said that Knute Rockne had a theory that one out of every five years a team needs to lose every game so that the system can reset itself. And your son is good enough to be on the reset team...
Another time a man walked in and said that he was a great player when he played and he could not understand why his son wasn't playing. 'Mo said, 'Well sometimes the cart gets before the horse and sometimes the neighbor borrows the cart when you aint home'.
And 'Mo' stood up in front of his team and handed out practice jerseys. He said these red ones are for the first teamers, these white ones are for the second teamers, these brown ones are for the ones that get the s(tuf) knocked outta them in practice.
Soccer mom brings her son to practice and asks is there a number she can call when he is ready to be picked up. 'Mo' says, 'Yes mam just call 911 and they will know where he is at'.

 

[1052]

Most of the teams Moser has coached have been voted into the top ten by the Associated Press. But why has no Graham/Orange player never made the AP All State team or Shrine Bowl. .

 

[77football]

Will Cedar Ridge even show up? Let's hope we don't have another "No Mas" game like last year. And you know what is sad, if Orange wins by 50 the News of Orange paper will headline how the team from the ridge were great and just couldn't pull it out in the 4th quarter....no respect from the local paper for the Panthers. Ok, I'm off my box now. Let's Go Orange on Senior Night!

 

[1052]

The real secret is this years JV team. They may be the best that Orange High has ever fielded.

 

[Brutus B]

Orange wins 41-6 to improve to 8-1 on the season.

 

[tatermommy]

Well I went to the football game and there wuz some thangs I didn't understand. I stopped by the BBQ stand and bought me some sammiches which were gonna be great. Well I got sat down and the feller beside me said, 'You need to gimme a sammich just cause I am here'. Then these folks dressed in stripe shirts started throwing sammich wrappers in my face and walking my sammiches back to the BBQ shack and putting them on the ground. When I asted them 'why you takin my sammiches' they looked at me like I was crazy and just kept on walking and tho'ed some more wrappers in my face. Then the man that wanted my sammiches kept knocking my hat off ant when I went to pick it up he hit me in the 'Clinton'. And I got some more wrappers throwed in my face. And the man In the striped shirt looked at me like I was crazy. Well late in the game I got me nother sammich and the guy beside me got mad cause he said, 'It was too late to get another sammich'. I said, 'If you pays yo money to get in you must prepare to buy your own sammiches'. Then 'Yosemite Sam' in the stripe shirt said, 'We throwed wrappers at ya to make it fair'. I asked him was he a direct descendant of the Munchkins on the Wizard of Oz or was he mad when the BBQ dudes tried to put him on the grill'. Mo sammich wrappers. After the game I asted sammich cat, 'Why didn't you work to git some money' and he showed me some Monopoly money. I said' Why didn't you bring some real money' he said, 'This is the money we use at home'. I decided he was an oxi-moron. I knew that I could not scrub the stupid from his existence so I told him to try the same thing next Friday. He said, 'What does that ringing bell mean ?'